Well I first started this blogger to connect to God but I have given up on that. I am where I am in my walk with Him. I believe in God, I am saved, I LOVE Him but I feel to damaged to be able to reach him in the way I should. I have tried to have a personal relationship with Him all my life and have failed and can't keep putting that pressure on myself anymore. I realized so long ago that I am damaged, that I am the problem and always have been according to my mom I have been since birth. No matter how many times I have tried to change or re-invent myself I seem to be who I am. Love me or not.                                                                                                                             Now I am staying at home while my hubby(who is 11 years younger which is hard to swallow now at this stage)works I am trying to learn all kinds of new things to do and make I would love to even sell someday. My health sucks so I am not always up to what I would like to but I push on.